Disability Pride Month | Spectrumly Speaking ep. 159

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IN THIS EPISODE:

In this episode, hosts Haley Moss and Dr. Lori Butts discuss Disability Pride Month, share life updates, and talk about the importance of simple joys.

 

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Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.

For more about Haley, check out her website: haleymoss.net And look for her on Twitter: twitter.com/haleymossart For more about Dr. Butts, check out her website: cfiexperts.com

Have a question or story for us? E-mail us at SpectrumlySpeaking@gmail.com

CLICK HERE FOR PREVIOUS EPISODES

 

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:  

Note: the following transcription was automatically generated. Some imperfections may exist.  

 

HALEY MOSS (HM):  

Hello, and welcome to Spectrumly Speaking. I’m Haley Moss, an author, artists attorney, advocate. And I’m also autistic. I feel very lucky as usual, to get to share the Spectrumly stage with a wonderful co host, who you all have the pleasure by now of knowing, but I’m still going to let her have the floor to introduce herself…

DR LORI BUTTS (LB):  

Hi, I’m Dr. Lori Butts. I’m a psychologist and an attorney.

HM:  

So it is the middle of the summer, it is July, it is hot, no matter where you are. And it’s also been a hot minute, since we the Spectrumly team have been here to give you an update on life on everything. And we wanted to do a quick episode to you know, say hello, let you know everything’s going well that we’re still here. And share a little bit about how our summers been going because somehow, we’re at this point where maybe some of you might be gearing up for the back to school thing. Others might be kind of enjoying the dog days of summer. Some of you might be in a life transition phase, I don’t really know. But we want to be here. And also, because like we mentioned it is July, I do feel obligated to remind y’all, or perhaps introduce y’all to the fact it is Disability Pride Month.

LB:  

Tell me about disability pride month.

HM:  

Let’s do it. Disability Pride Month is a very exciting celebration that we have that recognizes July as this time that we celebrate the many ways that people with disabilities contribute and add to the diversity of you know, the world and all this good stuff. This is mostly a US based thing. But I’m sure if you are somewhere else in the world, you too can still celebrate that essentially Disability Pride Month happens every July to mark the anniversary of the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act. For those of you who aren’t familiar with when that anniversary is the ADA was passed on July 26, of 1990. So it is turning 34 this year. And actually that is the first time that a Disability Pride Day was celebrated in Boston in 1990. And the first Disability Pride Parade was celebrated in Chicago in 2004. And of course, now that there’s things all over the place, we have a flag, there are all sorts of different things in what the different colors on the flag represent, I know that we are a podcast. So having visuals usually is a little bit difficult. But you can kind of Google this and pull up the flag. And there’s a great explanation about how each of the colors represents different disability categories. And even negative space on there represents the lives that have been lost. Because you know, people with disabilities die or victims have all sorts of different crimes committed by family members, or just you know, the disability itself, shortening your life expectancy, all sorts of different things. And this is stuff that I wanted to point out while we talk about our celebrations and also what this means.

LB:  

That’s great. I think it’s so important to for everybody to recognize that there’s so much that people with disabilities contribute and and such a host of different ways. I mean, we’re hosted here by different rains. And it’s like, it’s just celebrating diversity and understanding that everybody has a unique perspective and offering to all of us.

HM:  

Absolutely. And I think that’s really important. I also wanted to correct myself on the flag that it actually turns out was designed in 2019, and then revived back in 2021. And each color has different here’s the meanings of the colors, if you want to think about this as a visual is that there’s a red stripe for physical disabilities, a Goldstrike for neurodiversity, a white stripe for invisible disabilities, and undiagnosed disabilities. And our blue stripe represents emotional and psychiatric disabilities, including mental illnesses and mental health disabilities. And there’s also a green one for sensory disabilities, including deafness, blindness, etc, and other different sensory and audio processing disorder and disabilities. And then that black background that I mentioned is for victims of violence and abuse. So I wanted to really have that kind of conversation really kind of bring that up. And I also wanted to give extra context, because I feel like that’s very important to do. And I feel like I was kind of just having a brain fart as to what all that meant. So I apologize, but I think it’s very cool. I can’t say that I’ve been to say a Disability Pride Parade or different events out in the community. But I will say I’ve been very busy with lots of virtual events and lots of folks who want to do their learning on disability history, culture, and neurodiversity during this time, so that’s been pretty exciting. 

LB:  

That’s very exciting, that the enthusiasm to learn about it is really exciting. I’m glad to hear all that.

HM:  

I think it’s important that we learn and I think it’s very wonderful that you know Disability does have a couple of different themed months. I know usually here at Spectrumly our listeners are awfully familiar with April as Autism acceptance month and usually is one of our, the more you know, cuts, we tend to celebrate National Disability Employment Awareness Month in October. But I do think it’s pretty cool that technically I get three themed months a year, just based on this one aspect of my identity. Oh, cool. There’s an autism acceptance month, Disability Pride Month, which is also my birthday month. So you get to celebrate we double in July, thank you. And then we have October. So it’s like we’re splitting up nicely, evenly throughout the year, this nice little burst of April, July, October, and then we get this little break during the winter months. And then we come into spring. And then it’s like, look at me, I’m here. This is this is, you should be aware of me at all times the year, but you should especially be aware of me in April, July and October.

LB:  

Especially July with your birthday.

HM:  

I know my birthday is on the 31st. So I am the last day of the month baby. For our Harry Potter fans. Yes, I do share a birthday with the boy who lived. And this year, I am turning 30. I feel like it’s a mixed bag of emotions. For me, I’m very, very excited about it. I think my 20s have been good to me. It is the end of a decade and a start of an age. If you are a Taylor Swift Fan. If you know though, I’m very happy to still be on this planet and this spinning ball in the middle of space. And I also feel like 30 is one of those ages where it feels kind of strange because you see what everyone around you has done or is doing. And it’s so difficult not to compare yourself or feel like somehow you got it right or got it wrong and feel like you might have surpassed in some places and failed to measure up and others. But really, we’re just existing the best we can and we’re on our own path and happiness is what it is. But honestly, a lot of the time, I’m just grateful to have done the thing. And I feel like we have so many expectations that these big milestone birthdays, oh, you have to be here by then like, you know how many people say, Oh, by the time I’m 30 I wants to be married, I want to have this. I want to have three kids, I want blah, blah, blah. And then what if that doesn’t happen? I obviously do not have kids. I am not upset about it or anything. It’s just that, you know, if you asked me 10 years ago, I probably would have had a very different take as to where I would be right now versus where I actually am right now.

LB:  

Right? And I think you know, your 20s you accomplished so much. How many books did you write your 20s? 

HM:  

Three. 

LB:  

Okay, yeah, not many, not many 20 Somethings can say that, that’s for sure. You’ve been very busy. And that’s just like one little piece of who you are. But it is true. And I do think and I do think it’s more, there’s a lot more pressure for women than it is for men and like having it all kind of front. By the time you’re 30. I think that’s legit and real. And so it’s very difficult to be successful at a career and have children and a family and all of that by the time you’re 30 That’s a lot of things to click off that are a lot.

HM:  

I think sometimes it’s very unrealistic that we just expect people to have it all.

LB:  

Right, me too. 

HM:  

And I think learning and recognizing that we sometimes put very unattainable standards on people, whether you’re neurotypical neurodivergent, male, female, somewhere in between, or none at all, like no matter who you are, we put so many expectations based on culture and where we live in this moment. And that’s okay, we don’t have to measure up to every single metric. I’m finally figuring out that’s okay.

LB:  

Yeah, and that’s, that’s not easy. It’s an and, and that comes with maturity too. As you age, you recognize that and, and if you even if somebody does have all those, they’d be hard pressed to say they’re doing any one of those with their full force and, you know, 100% Because it’s, it’s a lot to juggle.

HM:  

And it doesn’t always mean that everybody’s happy. 

LB:  

Right. 

HM:  

And I feel like I’m at a place where I am reasonably a very happy person. I hope that comes across I think sometimes it’s very easy for me to get cynical because you know the world is what it is things are happening or you know, you have your guard up or what have you but generally speaking I think I’m a cautiously optimistic happy person.

LB:  

I think that comes across for sure.

HM:  

I’m always scared that I sound like a cynic or and that the law school in me comes out. And I don’t want to lose that sense of excitement and wonder to have in this life. I don’t want age to be the thing that wrecks it. 

LB:  

It definitely won’t. 

HM:  

I feel like a little kid so often. 

LB:  

Yeah. Well, that’s great. That’s, that’s important to keep that.

HM:  

I hope I do get to keep that for as long as possible. 

LB:  

Well, you will. If that’s your your decision, then that’s what you decide then you keep it

HM:  

Life deserves to have kind of that childlike wonder and excitement where you get really pumped up and autistic joy, looking forward to just little things in this life and even just things that make you happy, whatever that may be. 

LB:  

Exactly, exactly. 

HM:  

That sometimes it’s just seeing this happen to me the other day, I saw something with Hello Kitty on it, I think like a TJ Maxx or something. And it just made me smile for no good reason. And I was like, this is fantastic. Like, I don’t care that I’m not five. I want this in my life.

LB:  

 Right. It’s great. And it’s fun, and it makes you happy. 

HM:  

Not the “Oh no, I’m too old for Hello Kitty”. No. That’s Whoever said that was lying. Hello Kitty is awesome. 

LB:  

Totally awesome. 

HM:  

I did have a phase in this life. I’m like, oh, no, I’m too cool for this. I’m told that no, I’m not. I’m I’ve accepted. I think as you get older, you get to be the person that you want it to be when you were about 13. Because, you know, no one can tell you no. Who’s gonna tell you that you can’t have you know, Hello Kitty stuff. Because when it’s you that you know it when it’s your money or your apartment or your space, like, nobody’s going to tell you no. But that it’s not cool. Or it’s to this or that. Like, if it makes you happy, then get the thing with Hello Kitty on it.

LB:  

Exactly. without judgment. No judgement. Right. 

HM:  

Exactly. So that’s something I think I wanted to share what we’re talking about this life thing, I guess. 

LB:  

It’s funny, I was just I was just walking my dog, and it’s really hot out. And, you know, he doesn’t go very fast. And he’s got a heart condition. And he stops and lays in the cool grass under a tree and just sits there. And he’s so joyful and so happy. And it’s just a reminder, like you just said like the little like he’s in sheer joy just laying in the grass. 

HM:  

Have you had your feet in between the grass recently? It is a good feeling.

LB:  

Exactly. Exactly. So that’s, you know, that’s real happiness and joy and recognizing every day is a gift and all the wonderful things that you’re saying.

HM:  

Yes, and I think that’s a very good thing to think about is trying to find that little something each day.

LB:  

Right. 

HM:  

Like, it doesn’t have to be a big thing. But something that kind of keeps you tethered or keeps you excited or keeps you just you know, puts a smile on your face for no good reason whether it’s putting your feet in the grass or seeing the sun or I think about sometimes when I just want to close my eyes and feel a sense of calm. When I went to Alaska, the thing that truly broke my brain was seeing mountains and seeing water at the same time. I didn’t understand how it could be cold, the water wasn’t frozen over. But there were mountains with snow on top of them. I couldn’t believe that and it was just such a serene picture in my brain. And sometimes I just close my eyes and think of that and it just brings me calm. That’ll be my thing that sometimes is like bliss.

LB:  

Yep. You know, you we all have to have our happy place and it’s nice to have actually been there and to live it feel it smell it. You know.

HM:  

I know I wanted to see it. I’m glad that I don’t have a strong sense of smell because what little I was able to smell it smelled like really strong fish. Let’s kind of forget about that while we you know are talking about sensory bliss.

LB:  

I was thinking pine trees, cool air, crisp air. Not fish.

HM:  

I wish I really do. 

LB:  

You can replace it. 

HM:  

It just wrecked the moment here. I’m living my best life in some way. 

LB:  

At least you can see through this the stench of dying fish.

HM:  

It was a it was a fishing town primarily I believe. So I can’t knock it too much.

LB:  

No, but that’s funny. 

HM:  

But as someone who doesn’t have much of a sense of smell, and then when you get like whacked in the smell with that you’re like, Whoa,

LB:  

yeah, that’s so overwhelming. 

HM:  

A little bit. But what’s going on with you? I feel like I have been very talkative.

LB:  

That’s great. I you know, I feel like I’m in Groundhog Day.

HM:  

That’s like Groundhog Day a lot. And then there’s just so many experiences that you have for the first time every once a while you’re like oh my gosh. 

LB:  

Yep. Again, the simplicity of the everyday joy, whether it’s looking at your Hello Kitty, they are having a piece of chocolate or sitting in the grass in the shade.

HM:  

Chocolate sounds so good now that you mention it. I don’t think our listeners know this, but we tend to record around mealtime. And the fact that we record close to a meal time is enough to make me start thinking of food and it just triggered something in my brain. 

LB:  

Well, I think it’s definitely the day that you need some chocolate, that’s for sure.

HM:  

Yeah, so since we are having this nice little catch up with everyone, I hope that our listeners can do the equivalent of enjoying a piece of chocolate or whatever brings them that sense of joy and happiness. And also that we’re here for you. And we didn’t forget about you for a while we’ve just been busy. And I’m sure you all have been busy too and extend grace to us and forgive us and we forgive you for hopefully for not forgetting about us. But maybe you did forget about us. 

LB:  

Right? Hopefully not. 

HM:  

Hopefully not. I try not to forget about us too, because sometimes I am like, Wait, where do we go?

LB:  

I know. It’s again, Groundhog Day on acceleration or something. 

HM:  

It truly has been quite the journey. There is a lot going on here. But all right, go team. 

LB:  

Exactly, exactly. It’s all good. 

HM:  

No matter who you are. Whether it’s you or our listeners, or whoever else feels like they’re in Groundhog Day, or just thank goodness, they’re back. They bring me comfort, right. I think that might be a good little note to end on the end celebrating Disability Pride Month, we talked about birthdays, we talked about other things that are going on maybe just a little bit, and even just some feelings and musings. If you want to keep up with… the Spectrumly team, I was gonna say keep up with the Kardashians, but we’re not the Kardashians. Be sure to check out differentbrains.org and check out their Twitter and Instagram @DiffBrains and don’t forget to look for them on Facebook. If you’re looking for me, you can find me at Haleymoss.com or you can also say hello to me on instagram facebook, TikTok, X formerly known as Twitter or whatever platform makes you happy.

LB:  

And I can be found at CFIexperts.com Please be sure to subscribe and rate us on Apple podcasts or your podcast app of choice and don’t hesitate to send questions to Spectrumly speaking@gmail.com. Let’s keep the conversation going.