Thanksgiving 2022 | Spectrumly Speaking ep. 136

 

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IN THIS EPISODE:

In this episode pre-holiday mini-episode, hosts Haley Moss and Dr. Lori Butts reflect on what they are thankful for this year.

 

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Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.

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Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.

For more about Haley, check out her website: haleymoss.net And look for her on Twitter: twitter.com/haleymossart For more about Dr. Butts, check out her website: cfiexperts.com

Have a question or story for us? E-mail us at SpectrumlySpeaking@gmail.com

CLICK HERE FOR PREVIOUS EPISODES

 

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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:  

HALEY MOSS (HM):  

Hello, and welcome to Spectrumly Speaking. I’m Haley Moss, an author, and artist and attorney. And I’m also autistic. I’m joined here by the one, the only, the legend, the icon in the moment herself, my co host: Dr. Lori Butts.

DR LORI BUTTS (LB):  

Haley that’s the best I think of all of ever Spectrumly Speaking intros. Thank you. I’m Lori Butts. I’m a psychologist and an attorney.

HM:  

I was thinking about that. I think it was a meme or something that like, she is a legend. She is the icon. She is the moment I’m like, Yeah, that’s you. That’s where I was going with that. But I don’t know if it landed as well. 

LB:  

It landed great in my head. 

HM:  

That’s all that matters. So how are you doing? 

LB:  

Good. How are you? We’re getting ready to roll into some holiday here.

HM:  

We really are.

LB:  

Yeah. 

HM:  

I don’t know how we’re talking about anything related to any holidays. Because I’m like, how was it already that point, wasn’t it? Maybe just Halloween, but Halloween didn’t register to me because we had no trick or treaters. Very sad. So Halloween was like a non event for me. I’m like, oh, okay, this happened. But it didn’t. Or did. We’re rolling it to other holidays at this point. We are looking into. I think Thanksgiving is our first right. 

LB:  

Yeah, we got Thanksgiving this week. 

HM:  

So basically, by the time this episode drops, it will be Thanksgiving or the week of Thanksgiving here for our United States and America-based listeners. So we’re just going to talk a little bit about our plans and the things that we are grateful for. I think that’s a good plan.

LB:  

I think so too. What are you — I hope, I hope to hear that you’re taking it easy over Thanksgiving.

HM:  

Yes, the plan is to actually relax. Something I want to bring up about Thanksgiving is I know that this is something that for a lot of folks can be a joyous and festive period. I’m also very much wanting to send nothing but love to folks that it might not be that it might be really stressful or different than years past for you. I know for some of us that might be our first year in a while gathering safely in person. Or it just might still not feel right to you or things might have changed in your life. So I just wanted to say this is a hard holiday for you then you have my love and sympathy, not sympathy, but my empathy for that matter. I’m sorry. I just always like to point out that this is something that isn’t always easy for so many different reasons. Not to be depressing here or anything, but I know that it can be difficult if you’re someone who’s experienced grief or, or someone who has a difficult relationship with food. Or you are also someone who is indigenous and have very different views and understanding of the holiday of Thanksgiving even to be sure that no matter who you’re coming where you are, this is a time of relaxation, of reflection, or wishing things were different than we’re here for you. Yep. Are you doing something hopefully relaxing or…?

LB:  

Very relaxing. It’s one of these you know, the family kind of shifts around and is in different places. And this is one of the like, very, very quiet Thanksgiving so I’m looking forward to just I mean, I’m gonna miss being with my family. But just I’m just gonna be with my husband and some friends and but I’m really looking forward to just kind of simple quiet

HM:  

that’s a good thing. I know from previous times of us recording that you have. doggies are they are the dogs going to be joining for Thanksgiving? 

LB:  

Oh yes.

HM:  

 The most important question of them all.

LB:  

And unfortunately we’ve trained them to be very polite beggars. And my my black one will put his head on his on your lap and look directly into your eyes as you were eating your Thanksgiving meal. And my white one will just lay strategically under the table waiting to clean up anything you happen to lose off your plate. 

HM:  

There might be something that we’re thankful for. I personally am always thankful for dogs. Yeah. Thanksgiving was weird for me last year because the first year of code the COVID Thanksgiving so 2020 we actually had to say goodbye to our beloved four legged friend. Oh wow. It’s been around that time of year so it was so last year Thanksgiving was a grief Thanksgiving. But I’m always as someone no longer has a dog. I am always excited about other people’s dogs. And I’m at a point in my little life that I am no longer sad and overwhelmed with feelings about other people’s dogs. So it’s the little things, but I hope but I think the fact that we’re doing something a little different this year means it’s not going to be a weird grief holiday hopefully. But love dogs always. And usually, I always like to do with this episode. And I think we’ve done this in years past too, as we talk about the things that we’re thankful for. And what are you thankful for grateful for this year?

LB:  

I’m really thankful for I mean, kind of the traditional back to basics things health, you know, my dogs, my family, my friends, you know, that’s, that’s really it. I mean, basic, but very important things that I don’t ever want to take for granted is just, yeah, how about you?

HM:  

I think the health is the big one, especially that we’re okay, that they and I’m also grateful for I think sometimes the simple things in life, like, you know, like a lot of the times, I’m asked to talk about what my needs are. And I often say a lot of my needs are very much human needs, and the ones that I’ve had met throughout my life and the opportunities that I’ve had, I’m extremely grateful for. So I’m often so whenever I reflect on those needs that most of us have, I’m like, I’m very grateful to have a roof over my head, I’m grateful to have be able to put food on my table. I’m grateful for a career that fulfills me, I’m grateful for my family, all that the love in my life, whatever form that it comes in, like all sorts of things that most people want, or need, and even just the privileges in life that I’ve been fortunate enough to have, whether it’s something I worked for, or just got lucky, essentially. So I feel like a lot of the things that I’m thankful for things that everybody wants or needs, and just some of us happen to have been extremely blessed.

LB:  

Yeah, that’s very true. That’s very true. Yeah, all of my needs are met. And that’s a very fortunate, you know, because there certainly are lots of people that cannot say that many, many, many different ways.

HM:  

Yeah, like, I was originally thinking, I’m gonna, I was gonna crack a joke, because usually Thanksgiving is such a strange holiday overall, because things are close. The Mealtimes are always like, in the middle of the day, I was gonna joke that I’m, like, thankful for Black Friday deals when it’s all over. But then I was like, wait, that seems so flippant. for so many reasons that I probably shouldn’t say I’m thankful for it. Because I’m not. It’s more of like, oh, that’s something that is, I guess I’m looking forward to as I can do my holiday shopping and get some stuff done before or after? Because the gift giving holidays are the ones that get kind of stressful. 

LB:  

Very stressful. This one. That’s why things I really like Thanksgiving is it’s just a time to reflect to relax, to hang out. Hopefully.

HM:  

I know. I mean, if you really don’t know what to do, or Thanksgiving is something you’ve never experienced or feel like I always tell people you can make your own traditional means to or whatever that might be. Right. What makes you what brings you joy, like Thanksgiving. You know, a lot of people really look forward to watching football. Or they look forward to the Macy’s Parade, right? Or they’re those people that I don’t know how they do it, but they wake up at like 5am I know like run a turkey trot or something. To do like those 5k turkey trot.

LB:  

I know. I thought you were gonna do another competition at Orange Theory. 

HM:  

They don’t have a turkey trot. So and I am not ambitious enough to get up that early in the morning to go run a 5k I don’t even run your girl Don’t run. 

LB:  

You could do a turkey walk. 

HM:  

Yes. Waddle like the turkey. After the meal, I’m full. “Wobble til You Gobble” or whatever. But that would be my — if I had to name a Thanksgiving 5k I think it would be the “Wobble til You Gobble”.

LB:  

 I like it. I think you just came up with something very catchy.

HM:  

I think it’s better than the turkey trot but the turkey trot still pretty great. I also would like the there to be some cool like seem to shirt or something but no challenge at Orange Theory. I’m actually not going to be in like shape or and in the mood to really go to the gym then. And I think they’re my local orange series only hosting like a 90 minute class at like, 7am And I’m like, nope. Nobody should. I can’t go to 7am Like, I don’t know how people do it. And people go earlier than that. And I’m like they start at five and I’m like, how do people do this?

LB:  

Once you get it in your schedule. It’s hard, you know? 

HM:  

I feel like that would be something we can add as far as Haley’s attempt at her for my health journey. We can talk about it New Year’s like, oh, Haley might have this ridiculous resolution to go to the 5am classes, which is never gonna happen.

LB:  

That’s why resolutions are silly.

HM:  

But we can do our darndest to come up with some strategies. I feel like that would be like, extremely regular guestlist episode around here about starting rim keeping routines. It’s like yes, can we make me a 5am gym goer because it will never happen. That would be some sorcery.

LB:  

But those those people that do make it happen, you know…

HM:  

respect you for finding time to take care of yourself. But I really truly hope you get enough sleep every day. 

LB:  

Well, that’s people go to bed around nine. 

HM:  

I’ve gone to bed around nine before and I’m not up and like, the only way that I’m up that is if I have one of those 7am flights when you’re just out the door and you bail. And that’s because if I’m that tired, I will sleep on the plane. Because I’m that just doggone tired. I’m like, Yep, this is just how it’s gonna go.

LB:  

That’s something to be thankful for somebody that can sleep on planes, that’s for sure.

HM:  

I was not able to sleep on a plane yesterday despite barely being awake. But that was a that’s a story for another day. I’m grateful that we still get to do this.

HM:  

Yeah, me too. Very, very

HM:  

I know our schedules are both ridiculous. And then their time thing. If we’re super busy, like, maybe it’s time to just like, bring in some new folks bring in some new blood, let them really make the show something else that I was like, You know what? I just enjoy hanging out.

LB:  

I enjoy hanging out with you, too. I’m very thankful for you, Haley. That’s for sure.

HM:  

I am too. I still can’t believe that we’ve been Team Spectrumly together for a couple of years. 

LB:  

I know I can’t do there. It’s crazy. 

HM:  

I was thinking about that. When we’re because somehow with thanksgiving, that means it’s basically the summer, right? Do you know what happens? Like it’s Halloween? But it’s Thanksgiving. It’s Thanksgiving. And then everywhere you go you hear Mariah Carey? Like, what just happened? Like even right now in this like week before Thanksgiving type time. You go to a store or something you see like the holiday decorations. You see the little wreaths on the storefronts and the lights and the things and you’re like what just happened? It’s it is not December? 

LB:  

Well, it might as well be. 

HM:  

But it happens like the day after Halloween. And if you know some people that truly get ahead of the curve, it happens before Halloween. And you’re just like, No, no, it’s too early for this. I need some scary movies and some pumpkins and other stuff. And how are we no longer pumpkins?

LB:  

Yeah, well, pumpkins last through Thanksgiving.

HM:  

Pumpkin seasons through Thanksgiving. It’s not that I want to eat the pumpkins. I just like pumpkins.

LB:  

Oh cute.

HM:  

I think pumpkins are cute. I really like those ones that they sell at the grocery store that somebody paints a face on them. And on the stem they put like a little witch hat or something. Usually like five bucks. And I think they’re so cute. And they’re so goofy. And I know that people buy them because they have little kids. I’m like, wait, I just want one. Every year I end up with one of these goofy little baby pumpkins that has the witch hat, or some kind of face paint on it and just like pumpkins.

LB:  

That’s great. Well, again, thankful for pumpkins with little witch hats.

HM:  

Thankful for pumpkins. A favorite is I went to a conference about two years ago. And they and it was in October, and they gave us pumpkin shaped stress balls. So it’s like, you could squeeze this little pumpkin when you’re anxious.

LB:  

There you go. 

HM:  

Year round support. there’s something for everyone all year long. And gratitude is not just a Thanksgiving special to me. It’s an all year long thing. 

LB:  

Yeah, it really needs to be and I’ve tried to be more mindful of that. It’s, I try try to every day it’s it’s important.

HM:  

I think so. 

LB:  

Makes everyone feel better and, and be present and not be yearning for something outside themselves. But being grateful for something you know, that are in your life. Well, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family.

HM:  

I hope so too. And you too, and and dogs. Friends, family and dogs. But dogs are family. Family is dogs are family and family is dogs. But I still like to separate them because they’re special. I know special has a lot of connotations in this community. but dogs are truly just something special of their own because they’re just, you know, they’re too good for this world sometimes.

LB:  

Yes, exactly. 

HM:  

Well, no matter who you’re celebrating with, or if it’s just you, we hope that you have a wonderful, safe, healthy and enjoyable and hopefully relaxing Thanksgiving. 

LB:  

Yes, we do. 

HM:  

I think that’s a good note for us to wrap this one up on so everybody can enjoy their time. Offer time to reflect or whatever it may be. Be sure to check out different brains.org and check out their Twitter and Instagram at DiffBrains. And don’t forget to also look for them on Facebook. If you’re looking for yours truly, I can be found at Hailey moz.com. Or you can also say hello to me on all major social media. I am not sure if Twitter will continue to exist by the time that this comes out due to all the many changes that have been going on there. So because of that, I’m just going to say if you want to say hi on social media, say hello on Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn, because the future is a very uncertain place.

LB:  

I can be found at CFI experts.com. And please be sure to subscribe and rate us on iTunes. And don’t hesitate to send questions to spectrum ly speaking@gmail.com. Let’s keep the conversation going.