Creativity & Autism, with Samantha Gibb | Spectrumly Speaking ep. 137
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IN THIS EPISODE:
In this episode, hosts Haley Moss and Dr. Lori Butts speak with Samantha Gibb. Samantha Gibb is a musical recording artist, an autism self-advocate, and an autism mom. Samantha was born and raised in Miami Beach, Florida and now lives in Nashville, TN. Sam’s father, legendary Maurice Gibb of The Bee Gees, vastly influenced her life and her music. In 2004, after her father passed away, Sam partnered with Lazaro Rodriguez, creating M.E.G. Productions. Samantha and Lazaro write and record for herself and other artists, releasing new music every year.
Samantha’s new EP “Echoes” is available December 6th. Pre-add it here: https://ingrv.es/echoes-sns-m
For more about Samantha’s work:
https://linktr.ee/samanthagibb
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Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.
Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.
For more about Haley, check out her website: haleymoss.net And look for her on Twitter: twitter.com/haleymossart For more about Dr. Butts, check out her website: cfiexperts.com
Have a question or story for us? E-mail us at SpectrumlySpeaking@gmail.com
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EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
HALEY MOSS (HM):
Hello, and welcome back to Spectrumly Speaking. I’m Hayley Moss, an author, attorney, artist, and I’m also autistic. I feel very lucky to continue to share the Spectrumly stage with the best co hosts in the game, the one the only.
DR LORI BUTTS (LB):
Hi, I’m Dr. Lori Butts I’m a psychologist and an attorney and always get the greatest introductions ever.
HM:
It’s a good thing we haven’t switched it up yet where you read the intro and you know, that’s yet to basically have the equivalent of the jazz hands and the drumroll going.
LB:
We would lose we would lose all of our listeners if that were the case.
HM:
I think everyone would just be confused like this is the way it’s been for how many years have you been doing this? We’ve been together for three years it’s like you You switched it up that’s like this an autism podcast you don’t mess with routine. This stick around here like you know that’s what you do. Doctor but then you got your your life or whatever’s going. Which leads us to the next thing that we do. How are you doing?
LB:
Good, how are you?
HM:
I am good somehow having energy which feels like a rarity because I feel like I’m always tired.
LB:
Yeah, I know. You sound very peppy. So that’s exciting.
HM:
It may or may not be because I just shotgunned a diet coke before we started recording.
LB:
Ah, the caffeine.
HM:
I’m not a coffee drinker, but I do love a good diet coke. Or Coke Zero.
LB:
I gave it up a long time ago. It gave me a stomach problem. So but it’s one of those things.
HM:
It’s something for everyone. But it is a hobby I can’t give give up or a habit. I can’t give up for that. But thankfully we don’t have to worry about sticking to that
LB:
exactly because we have an amazing guest today.
HM:
We are welcoming Samantha Gibb to the Spectrumly stage. Samantha Gibb is a musical recording artist and autism self advocate and an autism mom. Sam was born and raised in Miami Beach, Florida and now lives in Nashville, Tennessee. Sam’s father, legendary Maurice Gibb of the BeeGees vastly influenced her life and her music. In 2004. After her father passed away, Sam partnered with Lazarus Rodriguez, creating M E G productions, Samantha and Laszlo write and record for herself and other artists releasing music every year. Welcome to the show.
SAMANTHA GIBB (SG):
Thank you. Thanks so much for having me.
HM:
Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule and life to join us. And for all of us here and our listeners. Would you mind sharing with us a little bit about how you became involved in the autism community?
SG:
You know, it actually really started when I my son was very young, he was by about five years old when we started seeing some kind of, well, I what I didn’t see anything, my husband was seeing some stuff that was like, Okay, that’s interesting. And just just kind of like, you know, with the fabrics, or just certain certain little things that stood out to him, and I would, I was like, that’s, that’s totally normal. Like, that’s how I was like that, that’s fine. And I never really caught on. And then we went and he got evaluated, and we, you know, and I’m like, well, he’s really young, you know, so I don’t really know. And at this time in my life, I guess, I was still kind of, really with that stigma, but I guess there was around autism and spectrum and I mean, at that point, I didn’t even know about spectrum. You know, so I felt like, I had this kind of like, What do you mean, what do you mean? And then as it started to develop? I was all of a sudden learning all these things about myself. And I was realizing all these things about myself to that I’m like, oh my god, wow. Okay. No, that’s, that’s neat. That’s okay. I I do the same I have the same things are very similar issues that I felt like I had, I guess, growing up. And so that was when I figured out that I was on spectrum. And I guess I’m, I guess, I don’t know, there’s all these different terms, but I know that high functioning and I guess my son is high functioning, I don’t know. To me, it’s it’s all relative, I guess. But I, I learned then from Yeah, from that experience with my son that I was on spectrum as well. So I’ve never clinically been diagnosed. I’ve never sat with somebody but I’ve I do enough of the IEP meetings and the ETR meetings with my son, he’s now 11. And we we’ve actually been able to gauge a lot more where I can even familiarize myself with all these things too, like auditory processing, and like, just just a lot of things that I did didn’t realize that I had, and that he has, and I’m like, Okay, so now I’m actually figuring out ways that will help me now as an adult, you know, while I’m helping my son kind of, you know, you know, work his way through all of this. So that’s, I guess a start. It was a bit long winded.
LB:
Can you tell us a bit about some of the traits that you that you can see in your son that you also seeing yourself?
SG:
Um, yeah, he will ADD for sure. There’s, I’ve always known I had ADD in, in OCD, you know, like, not not incredibly intense. But I, I have ish, like I can’t, like I’ll fixate on something like I fixate a lot on certain little things. And a lot of the time people don’t even realize it. Because I think for so long, I had to kind of learn to not show those things. Like, I’m constantly moving. And if I talk to my friends, people that knew even when I was kid, I’m just like, you know that I had to work on that, like I, I have to kind of, I kind of hide it, you know, which, which, again, is really, I think another reason why I’m even here and wanting to talk about all this because I feel like I grew up not having any of that knowledge. And now I see my son having all these tools. And I’m like, wow, okay, man, I wish I had those tools. You know, when when I was a kid.
HM:
kind of switch gears a little bit. You met, we talked a little bit in the intro about your love of music, and what led you to pursue that as a career?
SG:
You know, it was, that was probably my savior growing up, because I mean, I left school pretty early, I was 16 When I left school. And it was really difficult for me, because I got diagnosed with like, there was like three different, you know, learning disorders that I had. I couldn’t I couldn’t I it was memory. I think it has to do with what is it? I don’t find a lot of thoughts on a logical memory. It’s, it’s one of those turn, I don’t know, if there’s lots of terms that I’m still I’m still learning myself. But um, I think music was a way for me to, to feel understood and kind of connected and where I didn’t have to worry about all the stuff that I think about all the time. Like, I remember telling this to my husband, I’m like, and this was a big kind of one of the big ones where I’m like, do you think about when you’re talking to me or talking to somebody? Do you think about looking in my eyes? Or do you think about looking in their eyes? Do you focus on making sure that they know that you’re paying attention? Do you focus on all these things? And he’s like, What? Like, no, I don’t know, I don’t think and it wasn’t like, he was like, you know, like, You’re bad. If you do it was just like, no, like, he just he didn’t he didn’t understand that concept. And I was like, wow, like, mind blown right there. Because I was like, Okay, now I’m starting to make more sense of this. But um, music I think was a place that I could always fall to where I just could feel understood, and I could feel the emotions, I could feel what I needed to feel. And I wasn’t really being judged, because I guess I was told a lot. Like, I was very sensitive when I was a kid and and that always really bothered me. And I was really affected by things like very, you know, just things, you get bullied. Yeah, kids, we have things that happen when we’re kids, but you know, things really stuck with me harder, you know them with other kids. And like I see with my son, I see certain things, they stick with him. And I’m like, okay, okay, so how can we work to help him? And then how can I also kind of revisit myself as a child and kind of heal that? You know what I mean? Like, does that I don’t know if that makes sense. But, um, and yeah, if sorry, relating to music, though, that that is what music has done. For me. I think it’s given me a place to fit in when I didn’t fit in for a long time.
LB:
And, from your perspective, do you feel having a famous parent may affect someone on the spectrum differently than someone who doesn’t?
SG:
You know, it’s hard. Well, in a time when I grew up it just like, I mean, I have no idea what these IEPs and ETRs until I was until I had my son. So I mean, when I was growing up, we even getting I went, like I was about in fifth or sixth grade, when I went and and did kind of a testing for learning disabilities. And I remember doing that but then after, like, I don’t remember anything being implemented whereas like with my son, like we had to apply or be, you know, there’s things that you have to do in order for him to get an IEP or an ETR I If, and you probably will be able to explain that to everybody. And I’m saying it like, everyone should know what that is. But, um, but yeah, like, when you get that, I think it’s, I think those things are the most incredible. I think every child in the world should have an IEP and an ATR personally, if it could be possible, because it’s incredible. I mean, everybody does learn differently. But you don’t really get those opportunities if you don’t have those things in place. So I think that’s why I was very, you know, thankfully, my parents didn’t, they didn’t put a lot of pressure on me to do well, in school, they were just happy if I was doing well, like if I could get past and because they knew I had difficulty in it. And I think that might be why they also, you know, once I was like, 16, I’m just like, I just I want to study for my GED, I just, I don’t want to do school, I can’t, I just didn’t fit. It just didn’t work. For me. I knew I wanted to do music, I knew that was my world where I were, that made sense. And, but I also knew I wanted to learn, and I love education, and I love learning about new things. And so it but it was really hard in a school setting for me. You know.
HM:
That all makes a lot of sense. And I really enjoyed listening more about how you were saying music was kind of your, your solace in a way to and can you share more about what you’re working on? I get excited about people in the arts.
SG:
ya know, we just read, I’ve recently put out two songs, which actually is really interesting, because I guess this is where just I’m finding myself with, I’m wanting to speak out more, and I’m wanting to be more connected to communities and communities that especially not only that I support, but that I’m a part of, and, and also, you know, when especially when there is stigma behind any of those communities, you know, because, like, I don’t want my son to grow up feeling that there is something that’s there’s anything wrong with being spectrum. And it’s great, because he’s actually he noticed, like, it’s a great thing. It’s pretty fucking cool. Excuse my language, it’s really cool. You know? Like, if it’s, if you have the ability, also, I think you have good support and a healthy environment around you. Like, it’s, it’s incredible.
HM:
How can we follow along with everything that you’re doing and listen to some of your music?
SG:
Oh, you can catch everything that I have on Spotify, Apple Music, follow me on Instagram. And otherwise, I have an EP coming out, which I’m very excited about called Echoes. And that’ll be out December 9.
HM:
That is so cool. And to transition into our segment, we’re going to be talking about how our autistic listeners can and should, and what advice we have for those who want to pursue a career in music or other creative fields. There are so many of us who contrary to the popular stereotype of autism, of being limited to science, geniuses and computer wizards, that there are many of us who are indeed very creative and go beyond that and want to pursue creative careers and truly follow those passions. And sometimes it feels like there’s not a lot out there, or that you’re pushed in one direction and not another. And I think what we want to get to the heart of is how can we support autistic people, not just the young ones into entering music and the arts and so many things that feel good to us?
LB:
You know, it’s interesting that you say that because I do recall we’ve had some guests that use their creativity and drawings and things like that. I am not a creative person I admire anybody who is musically or artistically inclined as a both of you are, it is such a it’s such a gift that I have zero. So I don’t know if I can add much to this conversation except to just encourage anybody who has a smidgen of talent to go for it because it’s it’s just such a beautiful gift to share with other people or just to keep privately. I mean, it’s such a beautiful expression in any way.
HM:
I have lots of things on this, given that I did want to pursue a career as a painter at one point in my life and have that beat my job. And I was so the one of the reasons that I didn’t actually is I was so afraid of the idea of going to art school. And I was afraid of going to art school, because it is so subjective and how they grade if somebody likes your style, all of those things, and I thought that I would be you know, an art school dropout or failure because someone didn’t like the way that I do. Things are because I can’t draw a perfect figure or something. I was so afraid of the idea of going to art school because of that subjectivity especially because so many of us who are autistic we do like knowing what’s expected of us or why things are the way they are, or the rationale behind things and not having that scared the living daylights out of a young me. And it really had me convinced for a long time, that meant that I would never be able to succeed as an artist. I don’t know if that’s an experience that anyone can relate to. But that was something I think, younger me looking back, I wish I had thought differently. I don’t know if it meant that I should have went to art school per se. But I do think I would have at least entertained the thought a little bit longer if I wasn’t so afraid of the subjectivity thing. Or maybe it would have taken a college liberal art class period.
LB:
I think it’s very fascinating that law school was less intimidating than art school. I think law school is pretty intimidating for most people, Haley, but…
HM:
In art school, they all told me how much work it was and how the subjects didn’t freak them out, too. And that art student and I know from even people that when I was at University of Florida, some of the graph, the graphic design program in particular was so competitive, because they didn’t admit every person who went through the art track to be a graphic design major, they seemed more stressed than some of the pre law pre med, these pre professional programs that are known for being extremely rigorous, they were the ones working the hardest. While everyone thought they were doing the least.
SG:
I was gonna say that I felt like there’s, especially with being a musician and an artist. I’ve always felt kind of like the odd one out because everybody that I talk to, they’re like, Oh, we’re just going to jam all night. We’re just going to do that, you know? And I’m like, I when are we going to finish? When do start? When do we finish? And what time you know, like I needed that stuff. I mean, when I was younger, I think it was easier to kind of go with the flow or like, Okay, I got this, then I got this then. But then now having like my family and my son, I’m like, No, it absolutely has to be this. I’m like, I get a little like, overwhelmed, like overwhelmed by it. Sometimes just like no, there has to be a structure. But I’ve always told I’ve always laugh because I’m like, I’m like the worst musician because like, I see my friends. And they’ll be like, Oh, we’re gonna jam all night. And just like they get in a zone. And I’m like, No, it’s bedtime. Like, it’s no…
HM:
And I think that’s why youth especially do well in structured programming, like, think about when you were a young musician. So I lasted in piano lessons from less than a year. And I knew piano lessons were on. I think it meant I think it might have been Wednesdays, and it was always after school. And it was always an hour that I knew when my parents or whoever might expect me to practice like it was very structured. You weren’t jamming on your parents piano or whatever. At midnight when you’re eight years old.
SG:
Yeah, I think I had to get used to not like a constant. I mean, I had structure but it was in bouts like because I mean, I went to school in England for a couple months. And I went over here with touring, I think I had to almost like conditioned myself. And I think it to a degree it helped me. But if I think if I would have had the knowledge, then I would because because I feel like wow, I could overcome certain things. But I still, if I would have had the knowledge I have now then then I could have really developed and probably not had the anxiety or had these certain other things that followed. You know? I mean, arts and music. I mean, like, yeah, getting a law degree. That’s a pretty, my brain couldn’t wrap around that.
HM:
And I don’t know if this was something else that you struggled with. But this is something I’ve always struggled with as an autistic creative as I was always by far, my harshest critic. And I feel like I never end up even growing up. I was always like, this needs to be done better. I could do this better. I like anything that I’m making. And I feel like I had such a perfectionism to it, that it. It’s not that it didn’t I would not say that. It never it didn’t make me happy because I love creating. But I felt like I never hit that point of just pure satisfaction until it later in life when I started letting go a lot more.
SG:
Yeah, absolutely. I think coming into all this too. Later in my life. I mean, I have my music partner and I have been working together since we were teenagers. Like I was 16. And he was like 19 When we met and we’ve been working together for pretty much all that time and we started writing and then we just we started a business together. But it’s so funny because he’s now like, oh, oh, oh, like that’s that’s okay, now I get it. Like I get it. Why you’ll fixate on that. Why that okay, this makes sense. So it’s been good for everybody, you know.
HM:
And sometimes it’s really scary. I think even for me to still experiment with new things, even in my own, know how I like things done. I have my routine to it almost. But I still get scared experimenting. Like, I don’t remember if I told Dr. Butz this in a previous recording, but I recently got a brand new set of artists markers that I’m so excited about. And I haven’t used them yet. And I don’t know if it’s because I’m busy or because I’m scared to have to catalog 150 new colors.
LB:
Oh, wow.
HM:
Like, I don’t know why I haven’t used them, even though I was so excited that I finally was able to invest in a really good proper equipment, essentially. I don’t know why. And like, is it because I’m busy? Or is it because I’m scared to catalog these colors? I know what they feel like in my hands because I had a set just like this. But it’s not the same. Like I don’t know if it’s like, is this Haley’s just busy or is this just Haley’s being super, super autistic about this, because that’s just who she is? But then again, I think it might be a little bit of both because I’m like, I really want to draw stuff. I really want to use these things. And then it’s like, I don’t know, something that happened for me. Especially because I did. I was at a point in my life. Once upon a time where I was going to pursue it as a career, I had some kind of like gallery interests and stuff. I think once that didn’t end up happening, I actually enjoyed what I do more when it wasn’t as much pressure for me to just monetize it. Now that as a hobby. At this point in my life, I enjoy it a lot more. And I don’t know where that lie. Or so many folks have like, where when is it still fun? Versus when is it also still fun? But also you’re depending on it? Like, I think that’s a hard line to kind of figure out.
SG:
Oh, it’s so true that like you get asked to do something or someone’s like, Oh, can you draw a cat? You’re like, Oh, no. Like, and then all of a sudden, you know, everyone’s watching every line, you make a how long it takes you if you’re looking at reference pictures, you’re like, oh my god, this is so stressful. Yeah, he’s the most pressure on a cat. And meanwhile, when I would sit in US history every day in 10th grade, my doodles were probably a lot more elaborate. And I probably do much prettier looking cats than I would if you asked me to go draw a cat right now.
SG:
But with that in mind, it’s maybe you know, with with the with your with the draw, like just maybe get into the zone of like, where you completely distract yourself before you pull them out, or you have them out and then you distract yourself and then just start using them. Ya know, and maybe long for the pressure. You know,
HM:
that was the one thing I love about visual arts, especially is that my I always felt like my best stuff came in, I was super distracted. Because I would be the one who I would sit on a zoom or like even now and I’ll just doodle stuff. Or I would do it when I was in school, I would be doodling and then I’m like, Oh, wow, this is a masterpiece. This is awesome. I want to play with this later. And then I’d call her later. Conversation phase. And it’s like, wait, I wasn’t even thinking and this is really cool. But I think — oh, sorry…
SG:
No, I was gonna say and that’s what happens even with music when I’m overthinking it, and I’m trying to think, Okay, I gotta read, I gotta write, I gotta write. It’s just the minute that I’m just like, just breathe. It’s like, oh, an idea will pop or something happens. And so yeah.
HM:
I have one of those notes in my phone. That’s just called shower thoughts. So when you get really great ideas, when you’re like in the shower, you’re just like, kind of, and you’re like, Wait, I gotta write this down the second even if I don’t know if I’ll ever touch it again. But because things happen in an instant in your brain, and then you’re scared that you won’t remember it in 30 seconds. Yeah, I have an entire list of shower thoughts that I don’t always know how to make sense of, but one day, I will revisit.
SG:
You should just do a podcast of just shower thoughts.
HM:
Honestly, we probably could we, I think we were talking about how we could just have a podcast about nothing, and we can get away with it. We’ve had this conversation before with each other. Like, we can literally just talk about nothing and probably still be entertaining ourselves.
SG:
Well, what do you that’s why you’re good at what you’re doing.
LB:
Right, exactly. One thing that you guys brought up that I hadn’t thought about was the lack of structure. You know, being creative is this whole, like, lack of structure. And that, that I hadn’t, you know, I mean, I’m a very structured thinker. And maybe that’s the key. And you guys are really opening my eyes to just kind of, that’s part of the creative process is taking, like, I think both of you said, like taking risks in writing or drawing something down, and it not being good enough, and then have, you know, and all of those those, like, smaller steps of the creative process, or are threatening are scary, or, you know, scary, whatever the word is, I don’t know, you know, anxiety provoking is what Sam said, you know, so, yeah, it’s really fascinating hearing you guys have this discussion.
SG:
And I think it’s, it’s important also, because just as a musician, myself or other other people, other musicians that are on Spectrum, I feel like, it’s important to know that it’s okay to have that structure. And it’s okay to spend time to not do it the way that everybody else, or to be able to be as, like, loose with everything, as a lot of musicians can be. And even when, with artists, you know, it’s it’s just, you’re not out of the community, just because that’s not how you work, you know, and I think the more that you embrace it, the better it can be for you, you know, because I think I tried to not embrace it for a while. And I thought that I was that I was off or something like I needed to be in it. And I needed to be doing it a different way. When that’s not necessarily the case, because I feel I’m doing better now. And I’m more structured now than I ever was. Granted, I think, now, in the world, I do think that the younger generations are a heck of a lot more structure than I was. So as a music, you know, like for musicians, especially, you know, artists and musicians, I feel like they’re paid, they pay more attention to things they pay more attention to. Yeah, I have to be doing it well, and I can’t just be out and partying and things like that, like, I need to have a structure. I think there’s more artists feeling that way now than they used to feel, I guess when I was growing up, too, you know? Like it was cool.
HM:
I keep thinking about today’s young autistic people. And I think there’s probably so many folks who sound a lot like Dr. Butts saying they’re not creative, or that this is something that they would want to try to learn the skill set or that they’re interested in, but they don’t feel that they’re creative people. And I have kind of a really nihilistic take on this, of that. There’s no such thing as creativity, essentially, in a way. I know that sounds really strange, but there’s no such thing as originality in a way because we’re just really just…
SG:
Oh my god, I love you. My favorite quote is creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
HM:
It’s just, it’s just basically remix plagiarism.
LB:
Exactly.
HM:
Creativity is exactly that it’s like, there’s no such thing as being original, like, because everyone wants to be unique. But like, yes, you can be unique, but there’s no such thing as really being original. Because you do have different sources of inspiration and different, like, you’re not in this alone, that you’re just trying different things. And that’s okay. Like you can learn the skill set like someone can learn how to read or write music, someone can learn how to draw a figure from YouTube or a book or whatever it is, like you can still learn the skill set. But if you’re not someone who thinks that you’re naturally creative, you’re not like dissuaded from this. And I think that I’m glad that you agree with me on that, because I’m like, yeah, when I say that, it’s original. There’s always someone who gets really kind of upset that that’s my art. And I’m like, It’s my take on art because let’s be real, if you’re spending trying to be original and real, and unique, you’re never gonna get anything on that. On that page. Nothing’s gonna happen. and you’re gonna make things that are really good and you’re gonna make things that are absolutely terrible. And there are things that are gonna be in the middle and you’re gonna grow from all of it like, it’s okay. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Half of them. Boy, I think of the creative process or whatever you would like to call it is the fact it is kind of a dumpster fire like a doctor wanted to learn to jam out with you, or go painting with me or go to painting with a twist. Like of all those people that go to painting with a twist classes, you know, like, what the ones where you like, bring your own beverage or something and you learn to paint every time your instructor paints like some beautiful, realistic giraffe and you just look like and you just look like you got like a line in some blob? Exactly. Like, it’s, but everyone had a good time.
SG:
And at the same time, that one might have been the one that somebody else is completely drawn to that one with a little squiggly line, but somebody that’s like, wow, I’m totally drawn to that. Like it’s artists. So relative.
HM:
All about perspective and you enjoy it. Probably had a great time trying to make it realistic giraffe, but you guys, its ont. I have been to one of those classes. And I did end up with a screen. And I thought it was really it. I just laughed the entire time I went with somebody a couple of years ago. And I just remember like, this is so bad.
LB:
Like who like who let the two year old into this adults only class?
HM:
Like, it’s like very low stakes. So I think like even if if you are not someone who is inclined to bring your own beverages or whatever, and you just want the experience of learning to paint some weird picture. It’s still really low stakes, easy way. Some kind of connection to the process and realize you’re not the only one who has no clue what you’re doing. Like open mic nights and things like that. Like there’s these low stakes environments. Practice almost like it doesn’t matter.
LB:
Gives me chills down my spine. Gosh, that would be…
HM:
Pretty low stakes. You don’t know anyone.
SG:
I’m saying that being the person performing on those could be can be rough sometimes. And I only say that because I remember. Actually in other places. I guess I’m speaking more for Nashville, like doing an open mic in Nashville is different than doing it in a different city. Because you literally have like, you know, like people are looking at you like all right. Well, you got, you know, like they’re not…
HM:
So I guess I should have just said karaoke instead.
SG:
I do love open mics. I’ve always loved open mics. And I love I what I love is also just the all the different stuff that happens with open mics, you know, but, but I always felt like I guess I’m relating to being out here being back in, you know, in Nashville now, because it was it’s definitely, you know, it’s, it was a little more tricky, but it’s also good because you kind of you get over those those fears. You know, to be honest, I never really totally get over those. That uncomfortable feeling. The fear not so much I feel anymore, but I still get uncomfortable. You know?
HM:
I think that’s okay to acknowledge that because I think, especially for a lot of Autistics and folks who do feel that perfectionism or that they have to get it right that it’s okay, if they don’t. It’s okay, if that still freaks you out, even if you know what you’re doing.
SG:
Yeah, it gets what’s been really important to me, too, is really expressing whether it be my husband or my or my music partner or friends. And when we’re in situations like that, I’m like, This is not comfortable. For me, this is not something that I want to continue, like, we I need to I need to step away from this or, you know, like, I need a breather, you know, if I’m in studio or there’s something there’s a moment where I’m fixating on something and then I’m starting to get like in my head about it. And I need to kind of step away like I’m starting to vocalize myself, I feel in the last couple of years. I just, it’s been much more fluent with me. I feel like it’s been I’ve had more ease with it with just really expressing and it’s so important, so important. Because for years, I didn’t think, you know, I always hide it and it wasn’t that anybody told me to. I just felt like I needed to, for some reason. Because I felt like it was like, Oh, I’m awkward or I’m this or whatever and no So that’s just who I am. And that’s okay.
LB:
It’s really important. That’s really important.
SG:
Yeah.
HM:
I feel like this is the jam session we didn’t know we needed.
SG:
Yeah. Right. I know. I’m like, Yeah, this is definitely it’s, it’s filling me up.
HM:
What is one piece of advice that you would give an autistic person who wants to enter music?
SG:
Do they, then they know they’re autistic going into music?
HM:
Yes.
SG:
It’s like my son, I guess, you know. It would just be that, you know, just don’t be so hard on yourself and be open to ideas. Yeah, I think especially going into music. I personally think I mean, everybody’s different. I know people want to be in the front or they want to be, I think no matter what you want to be, I think you just just do the work in between, you know, like, get in there and feel the energy of the music that you want to know and what you want to do. And surround yourself around. Really great, not just musicians, but good people that understand who you are, to help you develop what you want to do and the kind of music you want to do.
HM:
I like that and I think that’s great advice. And not being in being kind to ourselves is something that I know Dr. Butts abd me we preach a lot here at Spectrumly. Like, I feel like we always have to, like be like, be kind to yourself. We love you and you should love us. I feel like we’re kind of like hippies like that. But it goes well all about the vibes.
SG:
It’s extremely important. It’s a great message to keep spreading.
HM:
I’m glad we feel that way. And thank you so much, Sam, for joining us today.
SG:
Thank you. This is This is incredible. I’m so happy that you guys brought me on.
HM:
We had a mental jam session, and if you want to have a jam session and listen to Sam’s music be sure to check out her work on YouTube, Spotify, Apple music or whatever it is that you listen to music or visit her website at samanthagibb.com. That wraps it up. And for the rest of us be sure to check out differentbrains.org and you can check out their Twitter and Instagram @DiffBrains and don’t forget to look for them on Facebook as well. If you are looking for yours truly, you can find me at HaileyMoss.com Or say hello on wherever social media feed that makes you feel happy.
LB:
And I can be found at CFIexperts.com Please be sure to subscribe and rate us on iTunes and don’t hesitate to send questions to SpectrumlySpeaking@gmail.com. Let’s keep the conversation going.
Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.
