Sharing Neurodiverse Journeys, with Bea Moise | Spectrumly Speaking ep. 146
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IN THIS EPISODE:
In this episode, hosts Haley Moss and Dr. Lori Butts speak with ADHD self-advocate, autism parent, author, and Board Certified Cognitive Specialist Bea Moise, MS, BCCS. Bea is a National Speaker, Neurodiversity Coach & Consultant for both individuals & businesses, a featured expert for NBC News, and the Neurodivergent Expert for Verizon. She is also a board member of Different Brains. Bea is trained Cognitive Specialist and Mental Health professional specializing in Behavior. She has written for Autism Parenting Magazine, Charlotte Parent Magazine, PBS-Kids, PsychBytes, PsychCentral, Scoop Charlotte, The EveryMom. Bea is also a contributing author to “Life After Lockdown” and “Southeast Psych’s Guide for Imperfect Parents: A Book Written by Imperfect Therapists”. Her latest book is “Our Neurodivergent Journey: A Child Like Mine”.
For more about Bea: https://beatricemoise.com/
For her YouTube channel U.N.I.Q.U.E Parenting: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSK6j2wWGqMLQPxzijVsYjQ
For more info about her book, “Our Neurodivergent Journey: A Child Like Mine”: https://a.co/d/1u3r6J3
Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.
For more about Haley, check out her website: haleymoss.net And look for her on Twitter: twitter.com/haleymossart For more about Dr. Butts, check out her website: cfiexperts.com
Have a question or story for us? E-mail us at SpectrumlySpeaking@gmail.com
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Note: the following transcription was automatically generated. Some imperfections may exist.
EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
HALEY MOSS (HM):
Hello and welcome to Spectrumly Speaking. I’m Haley Moss, an author, artist attorney, and by the way, I’m also autistic. I feel very lucky as usual to share the Spectrumly stage. And today I’m sharing it with none other than my co host…
DR LORI BUTTS (LB):
Hi, I’m Dr. Lori Butt’s. I’m a psychologist and an attorney. How are you?
HM:
I am hanging in there. So for the perhaps uninitiated around here, we are celebrating Disability Pride month throughout July, we are celebrating we are learning we are doing many amazing things. And I was mentioning to our producer and friends before we got started that I am joining you actually from the disability in conference in Orlando, which is super cool. So we get to learn all about different inclusion stuff with the whole disability community with neurodiversity, with a little bit of everything. And the whole corporate world is here and so am I, and it’s just been really fun seeing so much joy. And I know joy is something you talk about a lot here at Spectrumly.
LB:
That’s really amazing. And thank you for breaking off to spend some time with us too.
HM:
Absolutely. Because I’m sure you know this, but — and it’s not something we talk about here a lot on the show, but maybe we should in the future, is: networking is exhausting.
LB:
It’s really exhausting.
HM:
We’ll break from networking to spend time with you. And our guest who we will reintroduce everybody to shortly is a very welcome change.
LB:
Oh, okay, good. So it’s a nice little break in the exhaustion of networking.
HM:
Absolutely. And networking should be accessible. But I don’t think it ever is we will do our best to figure that out another day. So how have you been? I don’t know what you’ve been up to this past, I don’t know how long it’s been. But somehow we are celebrating and doing all the things because it’s everybody’s big celebration times.
LB:
Just continue to plod along and try to along. Everything’s the same. So all good over here.
HM:
I always want to believe things are not the same. Like every time people say things the same. You’re like, Is it really because I have lost track of time of how long it’s been? I mean, it might have been the same as yesterday, but it wasn’t the same as maybe three days ago. Who knows?
LB:
It’s a very good point. Yeah.
HM:
Basically no major life altering announcements are major changes that need to be aired on the Spectrumly stage?
LB:
Exactly. That’s the that’s the more thorough answer exactly.
HM:
I have no major life changes to report either. Otherwise, I’d just say same old same old except — that I realized that my life and most of our lives are some form of adventure anyway. So that’s why I try to say, hey, here’s something that happened that brought me joy, or here’s something that happened in life, even though it might not be some big fancy, flashy life change – I’m moving or I got engaged, or I’m having a baby or whatever it is not like thinking right now. I mean, going to a conference probably is not nearly as major, you know, moving or having a kid or meeting somebody or committing to somebody, but you get the idea.
LB:
Absolutely. You find joy in all the all the interesting activities that your life brings you. That’s wonderful.
HM:
Thank you. And it reminds me because there was a poem I remember reading a couple of years ago called “Making the ordinary come alive” and how basically, we want to teach kids and things like the joy of biting into an apple to look at the grass that is all the big, shiny, fancy things and all this great stuff and making the ordinary things special. So I like to look at, that’s what we’re doing.
LB:
Good. I like that too.
HM:
And one of the ordinary parts of routine, at least in our universe here is that you and I get together and we podcast and it brings a lot of joy in my life. And I hope that our guest today shares that same penchant for joy that we do, and I’m pretty sure she does.
LB:
She always seems to when we read her, that’s for sure.
HM:
So we’re welcoming back a friend of ours: Bea Moise. And Bea is a board certified cognitive specialist, author, national speaker, neurodiversity coach and consultant for both individuals and businesses. A featured expert for NBC News, and the neurodivergent expert for Verizon. She is also a board member at Different Brains. Bea is a trained cognitive specialist and mental health professional specializing in behavior and her latest book is “Our Neurodivergent Journey: A Child Like Mine”. Welcome to the show!
BEA MOISE (BM):
Hi, thank you for having me.
HM:
Thank you for coming to spend some time with us. And since the last time we’ve gotten to chat here on the Spectrumly stage you and I actually got to meet in person which was so cool.
BM:
I know. I know and we didn’t even plan it like it just it happened that you know both the organization we were talking for content did both of us and we met and it was like the coolest thing because I got to see you speak in person. So that was like a, that was a welcome treat. I really enjoyed it. So that was really awesome.
HM:
And I got to see you too. And I’m pretty sure I let you my little clicker to advance your slide.
BM:
You totally did. Thank you for that. And you gave me some tidbits that I did not know. Like, you could just go on Amazon and purchase one. So that you know, sometimes you just things don’t come to me like that. In that way. I do things the hard way.
HM:
I was at a massive conference probably a month or two ago. And I was lending probably three or four different presenters that clicker. And it’s funny because I was at this conference as an attendee, the board of another organization and they said, all the board members, and I wasn’t even presenting and I had it in my bag. I’m just used to having it in my travel bag. And I’m like, I got you. But I think price. But yes, I thought it would be a fun thing for our audience to know that we met we actually know each other off the internet, which is so cool.
BM:
Yes. And discovered our love for Pokemon. So yes, we definitely we met.
HM:
And that also speaks a lot to neurodivergent joy when we talk about things like Pokemon. But outside of Pokemon and joy and meeting in person, would you be so kind as to remind our audience how you became involved in the neurodivergent community?
BM:
I think well, I because I’m neurodivergent. Myself, I think I’ve always been in it. That’s for sure. You know, just having ADHD. But the biggest push, I guess reason is my son, my son’s autistic and just watching his journey and discovering you know who he is, as we discovered together because I wanted him to tell me who he was. And I didn’t want to tell him who he was or who he should be. And he’s just been the fuel in my, you know, in my life to do this thing. And of course, my awesome daughter as well who has ADHD because I gifted her that right. I gifted her ADHD as well. So we’re just a giant, you know, neurodivergent soup that just is so flavorful and delicious. So it’s personal. It’s professional. It’s it is I am it. So that’s, that’s my journey really.
LB:
Can you tell us about your book, “Our Neurodivergent Journey: A Child Like Mine”?
BM:
Absolutely. So my book is basically my journey with my son. And it’s not just my journey, it really is our journey, that journey between he and I, the different dynamics between he and his sister. So there’s a chapter in there about the sibling perspective, because it was very important for me to include her but also include her voice as part of our story because she is very much part of this journey, I think more so than my husband and I. So I wanted to make sure that siblings of you know, any type of neurological differences Special Needs whatever could understand their heard their scene, and there was something dedicated strictly for them. But also I wanted it to be Abby story and Abby’s voice. There’s a dynamic of you know, my husband and how he parents versus I. I’m a professional. I was doing this before I had my son. I was working with autistic individuals before I had Jade. So I had a lot of knowledge and experience. So I was coming from an expert perspective, when you know, our son was diagnosed at three, but my husband is it he was coming from a parent perspective, and he was coming from this is new, what does it mean? What’s going on? What do we do with it? So just his navigation with it and allowing him to have this space to parent the way he needs to parent Jake as opposed to the way I think he should parent Jake, which is difficult because as a parent expert, I’m like, “Dude, you don’t have to pay anyone like you’re literally married to it”. But no, it’s that’s not good for a marriage. So I talk about, you know, our marriage and you know, where I had to fall back and where I had to push and things like that. So just again, it’s a neurodivergent marriage. It’s a neurodivergent relationship. Everything you know about our lives revolved around what will be best for Jake, you know, what can what can we live? What can we do? Where can he go to school? I mean, just basically, it was never it’s still not I mean, it’s still not something we look back and go oh, man, we wish I’m more have regrets of, oh man, I wish I would have sat in that space a little bit longer. You know, there was a phase where he used to call McDonald’s Old MacDonald. I kind of want to go back to that. I’m like, Man, I wish we would have stayed a little longer. I missed it, he love saying Old MacDonald. So it’s just that’s how I see it. So that’s, that’s my book. It’s a personal story. It’s a personal detail, but also all the therapy and all the interventions and what worked, what didn’t work what I wish I didn’t do what I wish I did a little bit longer. Because it’s basically from about three to, I mean, I go all the way back to the beginning because Hindsight is 20/20, so when you can go back, you can say, Oh, now I remember Oh, now I saw this, but from your interventions from three all the way up until 10, because that’s, that’s the date of the book. Jake is now 12. And so dear friends, so Book Two she is coming, is because we’re in a completely different stage of where we were versus where we are at. But yeah, that’s, I mean, it’s a beautiful book, people buy it. It’s just fantastic. It’s just, it’s my baby’s story. It’s our story. It’s my story and also my own, not to neglect myself because you get into you know, when you’re a mom you get into: I just got to do for everyone I got into for Jake, I got for Abby gotta make sure Rubin’s happy, and I gotta make sure my clients are happy, but also to make sure you’re putting the oxygen mask on yourself and how I achieve that. So that I mean, it covers everything it’s for teachers is for parents is for caregivers, it’s for your neighbor, it’s for your child, it’s for anyone, because it’s a great read. I mean, obviously because I wrote it. But I tried to make it as inclusive as possible to be positive and uplifting. So that was a very long answer. See, this is what happens when you have ADHD.
HM:
That was a beautiful answer, and your passion and confidence and just love for your family truly shines through in that description. So what are some of those lessons that you’ve learned on that journey, and even just writing about your experiences, because I know when you write about your experiences and are forced to reflect you learn something new.
BM:
Absolutely. I mean, it’s it’s healing, it’s therapeutic. It’s, it’s everything you can imagine it to be. But the biggest lesson especially, you know, when you’re writing and you revisit, and you’re editing and you go back, you relive the moment, because as when I was writing it, I wasn’t in there anymore. Like I wasn’t in that stage anymore. So you relive it, you go back. And what I really learned, and it’s chapter one, basically, because I intentionally made a chapter one was acceptance of who he was, but also allowing myself to grieve who I thought he should have been. Because those are two different things. Like I think, when you have a child or for me, personally, I didn’t know I had an expectation for my child, I thought I would just have a kid and be happy. And we would just, you know, watch comic book movies all day together. Like that’s what that’s just what I thought like would be. But I didn’t know the other expectations I would have and you know, little by little to realize I would have to let those go and mourn the loss of that idea. While celebrating my kid that I currently have because the the Jake that I thought I would have versus the one that I actually have are two different Jake’s but the one that I have is just gorgeous. So that was my biggest lesson of acceptance, but also allowing myself to mourn what I thought could be and I think that’s important for parents out there to know that it’s okay to mourn that loss and it’s okay to be sad temporarily because autism is not why I was sad. I wasn’t sad because my son was autistic. I was sad because I had ideas in my head. And so whether he was autistic, whether he had ADHD, whether he had dyslexia, it didn’t matter. If he didn’t meet those, you know, ideas in my head if he didn’t fulfill those desires, I was going to be sad anyway. So autism is not the reason. It just so happened to be coded in autism. So I had to mourn that while celebrating and accepting who he was. That’s my that’s my biggest lesson. That’s what I have learnt from our journey.
LB:
That’s so insightful and interesting. The way that you put that it’s because you know you you don’t feel like you’ve got these expectations. But then when something happens, you realize, wait a minute, I kind of do. And then that’s so honest. And I think that that I can only imagine how that helps people in their own journey by recognizing that somebody’s honest about, about that experience with them as well.
BM:
Thank you. I mean, I hope people understand that. And parents understand you’re not alone with your thoughts, with your ideas with your feelings, it’s best that you share it and work through it, as opposed to denying it and trying to push it to the side like and then and this is great, this is fantastic. I feel wonderful about it. Because whatever it is, you’re, you’re you have to feel those feelings, you have to feel the feelings. And I tried to be as honest and authentic as possible, because anything else is just not helpful. It just doesn’t help anybody.
LB:
Right. That’s, it’s really beautiful, that’s really special. I’m gonna switch gears on you a bit, because I didn’t I didn’t know maybe I didn’t know this. But I feel like it’s new information. And it’s, and it’s so interesting, because as a Verizon customer I’m interested to know about your role as a neuro divergent expert for that company.
BM:
So Verizon has a portal called Digital Parenting, which is there it exists. And it’s basically trying to give digital responsibilities to make sure that parents understand safety precautions, what exists, what you can do to make sure that your child is digitally safe. And that the our understanding, there’s a lot of good and bad information out there that children can gain easy access to. So the portal, basically, digital parenting, allows us to, you know, give information about what digital safety looks like, what what is responsible electronic use, what is smart tech, so I get the incredible privilege of writing about what to do and what not to do, and also what it’s actually doing to your child’s brain and how it’s impacting it, both for good and for bad, and how putting in rules and regulations and putting in limits. And all these things are good. And sometimes, you know, parents don’t know how to do that. Like I’m, I’m a millennial parents. So I grew up with tech, along with tech, so I’m comfortable with it. But I know a lot of parents that I help that are not comfortable. So they’ll hand the phone over and just kind of forget about it. And the child will get into some really negative things, especially cyber bullying, and especially neurodivergent people, we’re not really good with that stuff, you know, like we kind of get ourselves trapped in a situation. And we don’t know how we got there. And we don’t know how to exit. And we also do not know how to ask for help. Like Once we’re here, it’s like, I don’t know what to do. So I just suffer in silence. So I’m really big on making sure parents understand how to be very responsible with the tech use in tech information that is coming into their home and how they’re treating it. So I write about screentime I write about how we impact sleep, I write about how you can do because we’re very digital, digitally friendly in our household. And how you can make it inclusive and not restrictive, but sometimes how it needs to be restrictive. So I get to geek out on it because I get to write about the neuroscience of it. So it’s just like, it’s my love language is like yay, my ADHD brain is like information. Yay. So that’s that’s what I do.
LB:
And is it what kind of reception have you received speaking with businesses is usually a topic that you speak to with businesses most most often?
BM:
I do, um, I mean, the things that the thing that I get to do with businesses is basically I want people like Lori, like Haley, like my son, you know, wherever you are under neurodivergent spectrum to be included and to be a thought, you know, I want us to be part of the conversation in, you know, I am an introvert extrovert, right? Like when you meet me, I am I’m all out there. I give so much energy. I feed off that energy. But once I’m done, I’m done. Like I got nothing, you know, I have nothing else to give and I don’t have the ability to speak for an hour and also have additional time to go hang out and over tea or coffee, I don’t have any more in me. So I want organizations to understand what neurodiversity looks like in different individuals and how to make it inclusive and how to give us what we need, and not to exclude us because we’re all pretty awesome. And we’re great workers, but we have challenges and for individuals and organizations to understand those challenges.
HM:
I am grateful for all that you do. And something that I’m hearing is about how you really wear so many different hats: that you are neurodivergent yourself with ADHD, you are the mom of an autistic child and an ADHD child. So you are a neuro divergent pair of neuro divergent kids. And you’re also a clinician, so when you’re doing all this amazing work, which experiences do you think you pull from the most? Or if there’s one particular experience you pull from more than others?
BM:
Yeah, well, I think I created I curated alive, that feeds my ADHD brain, which is basically do all the things I do all the things. Um, but I think what feeds my soul the most currently would be the organizations simply because I’ve been doing this where I’ve been a parent coach for a very long time. And I’ve been practicing for a very long time. And a lot of the families I’ve helped those kids are now adults, right? Like, I’ve been doing this for 15 years. So if you can imagine a child that I started with who was 10 is now 25. But how I have not aged, I don’t know how this is happening. But somehow I’ve stayed the same. I think I’m a vampire, remember. However, so what I’ve learned, because I’ve grown with those families, and those kids who are now young adults, I’ve see how they’re now struggling in adult life, they’re now struggling to find a place that makes sense for them. So one aspect, I love connecting with families and I love educating, but there’s also this like, but they’re gonna grow up, they’re gonna grow up and and they’re gonna go into the work environment, and they’re going to feel lost. So I think, you know, the organization piece is really feeding a part of me that that’s kind of like, okay, I can prepare for the next stage while I’m doing the parenting thing, like I can educate enough people about this, you know, these kids, these individuals, so that when they do get to that setting, they’re welcomed, you know, there’s like this warmth of understanding, and they’re not just kind of like left to dry. So the parenting one aspect feeds one part of my soul, and then organizations and companies feed a different one. Because I feel like it’s funneling from one to the other is that, you know, does that like answer the question?
LB:
It makes a lot of sense. And it certainly answers the question. But you’ve got a lot, not just go on, but a lot to I mean, a lot of experience knowledge and insightfulness. It just all kind of pulls together. So what what projects do you have in the future?
BM:
So in the future, I think my there’s always something that I’m working on. But I do have another book coming. That’s going to be released next year, as soon as you know, as soon as I start writing it. Soon as I start writing it, but I want to, naturally I want to write about tech and safety. And I actually want to do the neuroscience of tech so and how it impacts the neurodivergent brain. So that’s my current project. I took the summer off to do it. But in true ADHD passion, I have not but I will.
HM:
It’s going to happen. We are faith. I believe in you my friend. Thank you. And don’t feel guilty for doing what feels best and necessary for your little brain. Okay?,
BM:
I think you I need it that thank you. Because I think guilt is real. It’s like, write the words write the words.
HM:
I feel that in my soul. So my personal life has had some stuff going on. And I have been very behind on my own writing too and learning to be kind about it to myself has been very difficult and necessary.
BM:
Yeah, it’s a journey. It’s definitely a journey.
HM:
Kind of what we’re talking about before the show even got started with you being here Bea is about really sharing our experiences and educating others, and really educating businesses and the public. I know both of us have done it, we’ve gone to conferences together, we have corporations in schools, and just everybody it feels like. So how important is it really, when you share your own story and the way that you have had that story at all those different hats that you were, I’m thinking of how to say this in a way that sounds coherent. So I apologize, but just the power of your own story. And I’m sure you’ve discovered just how much power your story has by writing a debt.
BM:
No, it’s completely coherent, I understand it fully. I think sharing. One thing that was really important to me, when I ventured off on my own was to make sure that I had an authentic voice that is unique to me, but also can connect with others. And it was while I want to tell my story, my experience, but also not let it be fully about me, because it’s not just about me, but really a connecting point where you know, you have an autistic kid, having an autistic kid, let’s start here. You struggle with certain things at home, I struggle with certain things at home, I didn’t want to come from the the expert tone can be expert, perfection, no flaws, no air, and my life is not errorless it’s filled with the beauties of errors, which I think is what makes my life so chaotically beautiful. So I wanted to make sure that people can connect with me in that way that I do know, what I am talking about from academic experience, academia, but also from a professional perspective, and just life lived in that world. But I can also relate to it personally, you know, as I stare at the pile of laundry to my left, like, yes, it’s been sitting in there, and it’s just, it’s doing what it’s going to do, and if that’s what’s happening to the laundry right now. Um, so that is why I share my life. I wanted it to be authentic, but I also wanted it to be relatable. And I never ever wanted anyone to feel judged. I, I can’t say I’ve done that successfully with every single person I’ve encountered. But that really is my goal. And that’s been my purpose is if you feel judged, you can’t be helped. So I don’t want you to feel judged, because I just want I want to help. So that’s why I shared through connecting. And I openly share certain things while also keeping certain things private, because you know, Jake is is his own person. So it’s Abby and my husband. It’s just trying to create a balance of how much I did versus how much I keep, but also feeling connected.
HM:
And it really is about meeting people where they’re at is also what I’m hearing a little bit of too.
BM:
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
HM:
And building connection. And we connect so much with other people when they realize how human everything is. And I feel like so much of what we talked about whether it’s parenting or neurodiversity, that so much of it’s just connection more than anything.
BM:
Yes, absolutely. I agree. 100%
LB:
I think both of you are such amazing sharers. You know, you really give of yourself approachable and so kind and generous that it you just both both of you just exude this. This thing that you know, people want to be around and you’re, it guess it’s an inclusivity piece or it’s just, you don’t have a lot of, you know, the walls are bright. So you’re you’re out there. And you’re you’re honest and it’s such a warmth, that people are drawn to it and they want to hear your stories and they want to they want to connect with you. Because of the way that you go about connecting I guess is what I’m trying to say.
BM:
I can I hear that. I think it’s also a byproduct of the trauma of exclusion, right? So when you’re excluded, you naturally want to include as many people as possible so exclusion it creates inclusivity it basically makes you want to not leave anyone out. You can because you know the pain that comes with being excluded. You know the discount For, you know, the, you know, shame all the all the stuff that comes with, you can’t be here with us, you can’t be a part of us. Why are you so this way? Why do you this way? What’s wrong with you? So I think the language of that use just again, personally from my childhood of Why are you so different? If I had $1 for each time, someone said, Why are you so different? It you know, I would be retired, and I could do this, if I could do that live a good life.
HM:
That’s actually not a bad retirement strategy. I think my strategy would be like, I would never know if you didn’t tell me or you look so normal. It’s like, yawning and trying to survive.
BM:
Yeah. So I think we then decided to use that as our superpower to make sure others don’t feel excluded. So we’re going to share so that someone else can say, oh, my gosh, that’s my story, or I feel that or I’ve experienced that. And I think that’s something a lot of people who are neurodivergent, that’s the trauma we experience and feel, and Haley and I just happen to have a platform to be very vocal about it. And I applaud her for being vocal about it, just like I’m sure she thinks the same. It’s not without difficulty, because you’re vulnerable. But I think we feel like it’s a must, because we don’t want anyone excluded.
LB:
But that’s turning it around. Right. And that’s very skillful. And that’s all you’re doing. And that’s a purposeful way to turn around. There’s plenty of people that do the opposite, right? And that exclusion, you know, behavior makes them more and more introverted and more and more afraid to share and, and all this in you all, I was really set an example of how to turn that around. And or, I mean, amazing, amazing women doing amazing things. And in putting yourselves out there. It’s so admirable.
BM:
Thank you.
HM:
Thank you.
LB:
Yeah, and you both are so positive. It’s like, it’s so great. It’s so it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s inspiring.
HM:
It’s because everybody makes it so hard and always focuses on the hard things and the negative that you’re like, No, please don’t do that. My life is not a tragedy.
BM:
Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. I am not broken.
LB:
Right.
HM:
It’s like I’m not broken, but I definitely live on the Isle of misfit toys, but I am like, near the Isle of misfit toys. Buut who cares.
BM:
In theory differ. Agreed, agreed. But those Miss misfit toys are the best though, like, you know, because you can’t do things out of the box with them back.
HM:
And it’s it might not be everybody’s thing, but it’s your thing. And you’re totally cool about it. Gotta roll with it. That’s how life works. And I think this has just been one very joy filled episode and experience. So I just want to see if there’s anything else that folks feel like sharing before we take the time to wrap up and just enjoy and keep celebrating being who we are.
BM:
I think I would like to say I love love speaking with you both. It’s always a pleasure and joy. And I wish we could do this more frequently. Because it feels very natural and I love it. But for the listeners out there, wherever you are at on your neurodivergent journey or someone you know, obviously positivity is what I live on, because it’s there’s no good and being negative all the time itself is nothing except for stress and wrinkles and we don’t need that in our life. So honestly, there is such a joy in being different. There is such a beauty and being unique. And I like neurotypical people, I like neurodivergent people, I can play in both worlds, they are equal, they are both equally important because we need each other and I think if you’re struggling and you are neurodivergent and you’re trying to be neurotypical, there’s really only one YOU, um, and just do you, you know, just be you because all the other stuff is just not it’s not fulfilling and the closer you are to being your authentic self — It’s not that life gets easier but the challenges are easier to handle. So I don’t want to say life is easier if you’re just you know, it’s just the challenges are easier to handle. But life is difficult, but the challenges aren’t there. challenging, if that makes any sense.
LB:
Go ahead, Haley.
HM:
I was just saying I think that’s beautiful. Mega-feels. Yeah. And let’s definitely do this more often.
LB:
Yes. Yes. This is great.
LB:
So great.
HM:
Without being ambitious about connection.
LB:
Yes. Go connect with everyone.
HM:
So I guess that means, Bea, how can we all connect with you other than of course, to be ordering your new book, “Our Neurodivergent Journey: A Child Like Mine”?
BM:
Yes, you can get that on Amazon and Apple and where all that all where all the books are where all the books exists, you can find it. I am on Instagram, which is beamoiseauthor. I am on Facebook, which is also beamoiseauthor, I just started thread, I have no idea how it works. I’m figuring it out.
LB:
You’re a tech person Bea.
BM:
I, I am a tech person. But I feel like it’s asking a lot like I have to send stuff every hour or something. I don’t know, I feel that commitment is too much. I can’t commit yet. So I’m figuring that one out. But also my website, beatricemoise.com, which will link all the things that I do all the organizations I’m part of and where you can also Oh, and YouTube, I forgot I do this YouTube channel called Unique Parenting, where I basically talk about how to accept love, and educate yourself as a parent as a caregiver as an adult on the neurodivergent brain. I don’t preach fix. I preach education. So there is no cure. You can’t cure awesome. But I do educate on why do we do what we do, why this pile of laundry is sitting here as I look at it. Because I have no motivation to do it. So I teach and educate parents on you know, it’s through a lifetime. ADHD doesn’t go away. Autism doesn’t go away. Dyslexia doesn’t go away. None of that stuff goes away because it is a part of our brain wiring. And it’s you know, understanding how to work with it and how it works. So that’s what my Unique Parenting on YouTube is all about. It’s education.
HM:
That is fantastic. And I think that’s a great thing to end on so check out all that be is up to us. For the rest of us. Be sure to check out differentbrains.org and check out their Twitter and Instagram at DiffBrains and don’t forget to look for them on Facebook. If you are looking for yours truly, Haley, you can find me at Haleymoss.com or on all major social media. And like we said that also includes threads although we’re all figuring out how that works right now. I am on Instagram and threads at Haley.moss I am on Twitter and Facebook as well and tiktok actually just kidding, wait, I am tiktok. I just don’t know what I’m doing on tiktok. I felt the need for trying to be cool. But please say hello on whatever platform feels most accessible to you and I’m looking forward to it.
LB:
And I can be found in a very old way at CFIexperts.com. Please be sure to subscribe and rate us on iTunes and don’t hesitate to send questions to Spectrumlyspeaking@gmail.com. Let’s keep the conversation going.
Spectrumly Speaking is the podcast dedicated to women on the autism spectrum, produced by Different Brains®. Every other week, join our hosts Haley Moss (an autism self-advocate, attorney, artist, and author) and Dr. Lori Butts (a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist, and licensed attorney) as they discuss topics and news stories, share personal stories, and interview some of the most fascinating voices from the autism community.
