Author: Darlene Lancer

Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert on relationships and codependency. She’s the author Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You and Codependency for Dummies and six ebooks, including: 10 Steps to Self-Esteem, How To Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive and Set Limits, Dealing with a Narcissist: 8 Steps to Raise Self-Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People and Freedom from Guilt and Blame - Finding Self-Forgiveness, also available on Amazon. Ms. Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 30 years and coaches internationally. She’s a sought after speaker in media and at professional conferences. Her articles appear in professional journals and Internet mental health websites, including on her own, www.whatiscodependency.com, where you can get a free copy of “14 Tips for Letting Go.”

The Trauma of Being Unseen

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores what it means to feel unseen, and how to heal the related trauma.

Navigating Change in Recovery

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores our impulse to change, and why accepting changes can be so difficult.

Mental Health & Relationships: How Our Attachments Transform Us

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores attachment styles in relationships, and how they can transform us over time.

Self-Love and Healing

By Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT Finding True Healing Self-love and healing are challenging, because we’re tempted to look outside ourselves for something or someone to take away our pain. We often flee from pain through distractions, relationships, addictions, or substances, seeking external solutions rather than addressing our inner struggles. Modern life, particularly in urban settings, […]

6 Tips For a Mentally Healthy Valentine’s Day

Darlene Lancer, MFT gives 6 tips for making sure your Valentine’s Day is enjoyable, and good for your mental health.

What Is Generational Trauma?

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the causes and effects of generational trauma.

9 Tips for Coping with Holiday Depression and Stress

Darlene Lancer, LMFT shares tips for dealing with depression and anxiety during the holiday season.

Gratitude and Mental Health: How to Feel Thankful Despite Challenges

Darlene Lancer, J.D., M.F.T. discusses the important role gratitude plays in emotional health, and gives tips to feel thankful despite challenges.

Coping with Depression and Despair

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the common causes of depression and despair, and shares ways to overcome them.

The Truth About Codependent Relationships

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores some of the hidden aspects of codependent relationships, and how to overcome the problems they create.

Are You Kind or Codependent?

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT offers tools for differentiating between being a kind caregiver and a codependent caretaker.

The Signs and Effects of Emotional Incest

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the phenomena of emotional incest, and it’s mental health repercussions.

How to Recover from Trauma

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses multiple tools for those working to overcome trauma.

Are Narcissists Born or Made?

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the origins of narcissism. Is it nature or nurture?

Mental Health & Relationships: The Distancer

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses pursuer-distancer relationships, and its relationship with attachment styles.

How Narcissistic & Addict Parents Impact Their Children

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the impact that parents with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Addiction issues have on their children.

The Narcissist’s False Self

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses the traits of people with narcissistic personality disorder, and how they may present a false version of themselves.

The Parentified Child: Causes, Signs, and How to Recover

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the concept of child “parentification”, and shares how to recognize and recover from it.

How Therapy Helps Us in Learning to Let Go

Darlene Lancer shares how therapy can be beneficial when it comes to letting go of negative relationships.

Three Hidden Behaviors of Narcissists

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT shares three common traits of narcissists that are often hidden and hard to detect.

5 Tips on How to Keep New Year’s Resolutions

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT explains why resolutions can fail, and gives 5 tips for making lasting changes in the New Year.

The Narcissistic Relationship Cycle

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the cycle of narcissistic relationships, and offers tools for navigating it.

Mental Health & Relationships: Navigating Manipulation in Dating

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses her experience recognizing signs of manipulation while dating.

Understanding Ego

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the difference between “strong”, “weak”, and “big” egos, and how they develop.

Lack of Empathy and What You Can Do

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores signs and impacts of a lack of empathy, and offers steps to help.

Myths About Narcissism

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores and debunks common myths about Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Mental Health & Relationships: What Are Interdependent Relationships?

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explains what an interdependent relationship is, and the roles autonomy, self-esteem, and boundaries play in them.

10 Reasons Emotional Abuse is Traumatizing

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT highlights the dangers and repercussions of suffering emotional abuse.

Covert vs. Grandiose Narcissists

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the differences between grandiose and covert narcissists.

Mental Health & Relationships: Dealing with an Abuser or Narcissist

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses steps to healthily navigate abusive or narcissistic people when avoiding them isn’t possible.

The Promises of Recovery

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the rewards we get through our journeys of recovery.

Healing Trauma and Your Inner Child

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the concept of the “inner-child” and how it can be healed after trauma.

Living with a Narcissist

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explores the realities of life with a narcissistic partner.

How Trauma Can Hijack Your Life

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses how trauma can change the way we react to possible threats and dangers.

Mental Health & Relationships: Is Someone “Playing the Victim”?

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses what it means for someone to “play the victim” in a relationship, and how a partner can tell if they are being manipulated.

Is Your Relationship Toxic?

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses toxic relationships, and what to do if you find yourself in one.

Dealing With Relationship Anxiety

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses the signs and causes of relationship anxiety, and offers tools to fight it.

Signs of Healthy Boundaries

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explains the value of healthy boundaries, and gives 10 signs that you have them.

Individuation: From Codependent Chameleon to Selfhood

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses how one’s concept of self can be obscured by codependency, and shares ways to move towards “individuation”.

CRAFT: Helping People with Addiction Get Treatment

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses the pros and cons of the CRAFT method of helping a loved one with addiction issues get help.

Mental Health & Relationships: Understanding Trauma Bonds

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses the phenomena of the “trauma bond”, and the role it can play in relationships.

Mental Health & Relationships: Recognizing Abusive DARVO Tactics

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explains the D.A.R.V.O. tactic that abusers use to manipulate victims.

The Codependent False Self

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT explains the concept of a false self and its effects on mental health.

Dealing with Aggressive People

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT covers how to navigate conflicts with aggressive people.

The Narcissistic Parent

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses narcissistic parents, and how they can create toxic households.

Narcissists’ Dirty Little Secret

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses the feelings that narcissists hide, and how to look out for their methods of obfuscation.

How to Be Present

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses what being “present” means, and how to be it more often.

Splitting: Why We Love Dr. Jekyll and Hate Mr. Hyde

Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT discusses “splitting”, and the emotional and phycological effects it can have in relationships.

How Self-Love is Key to Codependency Recovery

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses the role self-acceptance and self-love play in recovering from codependency, and offers tips to achieve both.

Are You a Narcissist’s Supply?

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses how people with narcissistic personality disorder may use others to feed their needs.

Hiding Your “True Self”: The Seeds of Codependency

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses how our “true self” develops, and how it can be obscured by codependency.

Are Empaths Codependent?

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT looks at the relationship between empathy and codependency.

Steps To Codependency Recovery

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses the progressive nature of codependency, and offers steps for recovery.

Learned Helplessness Is Not a Life Sentence

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT looks at “learned helplessness”, and how to overcome it.

How are Your Boundaries in the Pandemic?

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT shares tips for maintaining healthy boundaries during the pandemic.

Mental Health & Relationships: When Narcissists Won’t Let Go

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses strategies to deal with a narcissist that won’t let go.

Why It’s Hard To Receive

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses why it can feel uncomfortable to receive.

Tactics Narcissists Use to Gain Self-Esteem & Power

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses the ways narcissists increase their self-esteem and feel power over others.

Codependency, Trauma, and Healing

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses the recovery and healing process after traumatic codependent relationships.

4 Types of Narcissism Share This Trait

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses multiple forms of narcissism, and highlights a trait they all have in common.

Mental Health & Relationships: Dating a Narcissist

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT offers tools for recognizing if someone is dating a narcissist.

Mental Health & Relationships: Cultivating Love

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT offers 7 tips to cultivate love in your life in mentally healthy ways.

Mental Health & Relationships: Detaching From Unhealthy Situations

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses ways to recognize when a relationship has become unhealthy, and gives tips for how to detach from it.

Recognizing Sibling Bullying and Abuse

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT looks at the often ignored problem of sibling bullying and abuse, and highlights ways to detect it.

Mental Health & Relationships: How Our Partners Can Control Our Brains

Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT discusses how our partners can have the ability to control our minds.

Sons of Narcissistic Mothers

By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT Motherhood and Narcissism All children of narcissists suffer. Narcissistic mothers can damage their son’s autonomy, self-worth, and future relations with women. Narcissists lack empathy and ability to nurture their children. They don’t see them as individuals, but only as extensions of themselves. Their children’s feelings and needs are neglected and […]

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Author: Darlene Lancer

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